GOTO-HEALTH

Taking my granddaughter to school this week, I said, “Have a good day.” I think my daughter would have said the common parental departure statement: “Love you!” Although Sam and I were “Sansei” (third generation), we were embarrassed to use the word “I love you” in our courtship and marriage. We didn’t like the casual and crude ways the words were used in the media and community where we lived.

 

I am willing to succumb to the grandchildren’s generation in use of “Love You”. But even if Sam were still living, it would be embarrassment that we would keep inside and not say to each other.

 

Sam had several creative ways of showing me his commitment and feelings beyond sex and I have no problem describing it as his love for me - flowers, candy, rings, writings. But on both our parts, it takes more thinking beyond enjoying physical gifts. 

 

Just like the Japanese word, ai encompasses a wider range of feelings, including parental love, sibling love, and affection for living beings and nature. Ai is about the acts of loving and valuing someone, often involving selflessness and a willingness to act for the other person's sake.

 

Dropping my 16-yr-old granddaughter off at her friend’s just now, I asked her how she feels about the words. I like the fact that she is thinking about the words and agrees with me. Her boyfriends do use the words with her, but she says, “We also say we respect each other”.

 

With my husband, we still would not use words, "I love you".  I feel “AI” and all it’s definitions!!!